Mommy Monday - Sunday Funday!

Hey Hey Ladies and Gents.

 

I'm back with a short but in my opinion (because it contains pictures of my sons) sweet Mommy Monday post.

After the last few weeks, i could have crawled under my duvet and not come back out, but i decided the best way to get things back on track was to pick myself up and stop feeling sorry for myself!

It actually turned into a really lovely day, we took a drive a little further down the coast to a place called West Bay. I have great memories of walks along the harbour followed by fish, chips and ice cream with my grandparents when I was much younger.

To say it was cold was an understatement, it was ruddy freezing! That didn't stop the boys enjoying an ice cream though! I really enjoyed being out and seeing them laughing and being silly.

We ended our day with very impromptu drinks and laughs with our friends, our sons met at school and love spending time together and luckily we live just around the corner from each other. It was definitely a night Steve and I needed, I felt able to talk about what had happened and how I felt without feeling like I shouldn't be, I feel very grateful to have such great friends who allow me to vent :0) It felt great to laugh and 'forget' for a few hours, it really was a lovely night, although Steve is suffering today after one to many falling down waters!

 

What did you get up to this weekend? Time spent with family and friends? Duvet days? Whatever it was I hope you had a blast and have a wonderful week!

Posts will likely be fewer than usual at the moment whilst I'm still not quite 'me', definitely look out for a special post next week though as I share how we will celebrate my mums 1 year post stroke survival anniversary! I believe we have a day in Brighton planned with the family, all 10 of us!

 

For now though take care,

 

Much Love,

xoxo

 

 



An Update........

So, I have been MIA for a few weeks now. I thought about just jumping back into regular posting, or making something up, you know the kinda thing, 'life took over', but i can't, I can't just move on and pretend the last 4 weeks of my life didn't happen.

I know one of the wonderful things about the internet and blogging is that you can be whoever you want, say whatever you want and of course pick and choose what parts of your life you share, but i would like to share this, for two reasons, one, it is a part of my life i will never forget, and two, the subject isn't talked about enough, not openly with honesty.

 

People who either know me or that have read my blog before will know I have two beautiful sons, I am hugely blessed and love being a mummy, being a mummy and wife is what I do, and I love every second.

In the summer of 2014 my husband and I decided we were ready to add to our crazy family. We were very lucky it didn't take a huge amount of time before we were both stood stunned one bright sunny morning in late March staring at a very positive pregnancy test! Three tests later we were pretty sure, baby number 3 was cooking!

We worked out our dates and came to the conclusion our baby would be born in the last week of November, perfect, I love Christmas more than any adult should, so a Christmas baby, I was beside myself with joy, excitement, happiness....just imagine every positive emotion you've ever felt, mix it all up and yup, that was me! We named the 'baby' Nugget, obviously we didn't know the gender and wanted to be able to talk about the munchkin without calling it, it.

The next nine days went by in a blur of nausea and tiredness, it was wonderful! Things soon began to change on a Saturday night two weeks ago. It began with light bleeding, two weeks passed, two weeks of bed rest, being told one minute we had lost our baby, followed by glimmers of hope when we were told it was in fact still there and had grown. Seeing our little dot in a sac on a screen and falling more in love. Those two weeks were hell, and despite being told things were ok, deep down I knew something wasn't ok, call it mothers intuition, whatever you want, I just knew. And heartbreakingly I was spot on.

On Sunday 19th April 2015, at 12:05 pm, at home I miscarried our tiny, tiny nugget.

Now there are no more words, I am numb and my heart hurts, I can't cry, the tears just won't come. Some will say it is silly to feel how I do, that 'it' wasn't even a person. But to me and Steve he or she was our third child, and we loved that child before it was even conceived.

For now I am healing, physically and mentally, everything is still so raw, but I felt I needed to get something out. I am incredibly lucky to have two healthy, happy, beautiful sons, they are my world and I will continue to treasure every second I have with them and their Daddy xx

 

For those of us who have undergone the trauma and complex feelings following miscarriage, a little of that pain remains in a corner of ones heart forever. - Barbara Jackson.